Saturday, November 12, 2016

Meet Monique

Let me introduce you to an amazing woman in our lives.  On June 22, 2007 our triangle (in the adoption symbol) completed.  You see, Elijah's birth mom, Monique (yes, I got her permission to do this) became a part of our family that day.  That day, she made a huge decision.  A decision that affected her life & ours.  A decision that was not made easily.  A decision of unconditional love.  A decision that was made putting herself last and her baby first.  For me, this was a humbling realization.  I admire her for her bravery and will forever share that bravery with my son.

This is Monique and I at the hospital that day when we arrived to pick up Eli.

This picture means the world to me.  It also is important to Eli.  His momma & Ms. Monique together.  2 women in his life who love him to the moon and back.  This picture, no matter how we appear, is love.

Monique and I keep in touch.  We have an open adoption and she is definitely part of our lives, even though we do not physically live near one another.  I asked Monique if she would like to share anything and here is what she had to say.

"This was the hardest thing I've ever done.  My heart and my mind were at war for those several days.  You guys (Dan & I) were the first and only family I mentioned adoption to and knew you were the right choice.  I thought seeing him in the beginning would help, but it made me feel very bad.  It had me thinking too much.  I just wanted to see him so that he knew without a doubt that I loved him.  I believe God made him be an emergency C-Section so that I would never forget him or you and Dan.  It is the only scar on my body that I love.  My cousin, and best friend, Vanessa, was with me every step of the way.  She helped me so much.  She was there to cut the cord and supported me the entire time."

For me--this is the heart of Monique.  She indeed had a tough decision.  We are thankful for the choice she made, but it didn't make that easier on her.  

Over the years, Monique and my relationship has grown.  We talk very freely and I love having her there to see us live life.  We are very open with Eli about her and we talk on a regular basis about her. Just yesterday, Nov. 11, was Moniques birthday.  Eli wanted to send her flowers from him.  So, we did.  Then we were able to FaceTime with Monique for a little.  It was a great moment.  I loved watching Eli's eyes as he chatted with her.  This is a love that will endure all time.  

So, Monique---she is a mom, she is a sister, she is a daughter, she is a friend and she is one of our birth moms(and she is much more)!  She has 3 precious children that she is a great mom of!  We are honored to have her in our lives. 

I will end this blog with this......birth mom's......they deserve your respect.  They do not give up a baby.  They place a baby in the arms of another mom.  They unconditionally love.  They never forget that birthday.  They always think of the child.  Regardless of whether the adoption is open or closed, they remember.  Birth Mother's Day is the Saturday before Mother's day every May.  I am able to celebrate Mother's Day because of the unselfish decision of a Birth Mom.  So, try to remember to honor them.  Whether you personally have one in your life or not.  

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