Our Journey part 5

Off to work I went.  Crying the entire drive there.  I was tired.  I was overwhelmed.  I was crushed.  "God, why can't I be a mom?"  His answer resounded in my soul once again.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.  Jeremiah 29:11

Be still and know that I am God...Psalm 46:10

All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.  Romans 8:28

It just rang through my body.  I was crying at work as I was starting my day.  My boss came by (mind you, he knew nothing of this potential baby) and he asked me if I was ok.  I told him all the car and air conditioner issues, but left out the baby.  My friends however, were open for me to chat with.  One of my friends at work had a family member who worked on the baby floor of the hospital.  She found out what room birth mom was in and told me I should call her just to check in and let her know I was there.  I knew in my heart that I was NOT supposed to call.  God kept shouting at my soul....

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.  Jeremiah 29:11

Be still and know that I am God...Psalm 46:10

All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.  Romans 8:28

Be still Beth....Be still.  So, I worked.  I kept busy.  I cried.  One of my nieces called me & asked if I wanted to have lunch.  Absolutely!  So, we went to have lunch.  On the way to lunch, I cried.  I screamed.  God reminded me....

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.  Jeremiah 29:11

Be still and know that I am God...Psalm 46:10

All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.  Romans 8:28

After lunch, it was like something clicked in my heart and head.  I knew that I had a choice.  I could make this day great or I could choose to sulk the entire day.  I decided that I was going to have a great day.  So, I called my sister and asked if I could keep my nieces and we were going to have a girls night out! Since Dan was going to be fishing, we thought it would be fun to hang out & do girl things!!!!  So, plan was set.

I got back to work after lunch and was set for the night, but the nagging room # was in my head.  I called the hospital.  I asked for that room # and it was NOT the right person.  God reminded be....Be STILL!

Whew, I was completely done then.  I sucked it up.  I was on to finish my day and was getting ready things packed up & organized at 4:25pm when my cell phone rang.  I ran to the phone & it was my cousin.  I answered her question, hung up & I had missed a call from the hospital.  WHAT?!?!?!  AAAAAAHHHHHHH---I had NO way of knowing who called me from the hospital or what room #.  I looked at my cell phone almost WILLING it to ring again.  

4:28pm----it rang again...