Thursday, November 3, 2016

Why Adoption?

Why did we adopt?

WELL....I will start our story today, but it is too long & involved for one blog.  (I know, you are shocked!)

I am not really sure when my heart fell in love with adoption, but I will say there was an incident that I vividly remember happening in my little town of Shippensburg, PA that impacted me.  I was young (not sure my age, but I want to say young teen) and we knew a family that had adopted.  Well, their child, in the last minute was reunited with her birth mom.  I remember when I learned of that.  I can still tell you where I was when my mom told me.  I am fairly certain that my mom had no idea it impacted me, but it did.  I never forgot it.  That precious family did end up adopting.  They ended up with a sweet boy.  He looked just like them too!  It was amazing & I knew in my heart, God knew just what He was doing.  He placed that little man in their lives for a reason!  I love this family & they had a huge impact on my adoption dreams.  They may have never known, but OH, what an impact they had.

So, during my junior year in high school, I had to write a research paper.  I really wanted to write a paper on something that I had a heart for, but, I was young.  I didn't know what in the world to do.  At the time, I was infatuated with a young man of a different race.  People had made comments to me on how difficult it would be on children if we were to get married and have kids.  So, with that in mind, I did my research paper on Interracial Marriages and the Effects of the Bi-racial Children.  What I learned from this research (which by-the-way, I had my parents watch the movie Jungle Fever with me---bahahahaha, yeah.  If you've ever watched that movie, the very first scene is enough to send my Pastor Dad into a coma), I learned that love and sharing and mixing cultures were the important things in the family.  The children needed to be welcomed to explore and know both sides of who they are.  I learned that while other people may have issues with it, when the children are brought up in a home that welcomes them and loves them for who they are, it doesn't matter the color of the skin.  Period.

My senior year....I had to write two more research papers.  One of which I did on adoption.  This paper opened my eyes to a whole new world.  I knew that adoption was and is one of the most amazing showcases of love I could ever experience.  Adoption.  It was in my heart.

Now, I would love to tell you that I went on with life knowing that I just wanted to adopt from that moment on.  But, that wasn't the case.  I wanted kids.  I wanted 10 boys to be exact.  *Yeah, that was BEFORE I was a mom!*  When Dan & I met in 2000 we both knew we wanted children.  We both knew we wanted to have them close together in age and a lot of them.  We were married in May 2001 and well, didn't worry about preventing pregnancy.  However, it didn't happen and I was having a lot of female issues.  Thus began the Doctor visits.  Come to find out in Dec 2001 I was diagnosed with severe Endometriosis.  I had a surgery and was immediately started on shots to put me into a "false" menopause.  This was to help clear it out of my system.  However, once my shots were completed, it didn't solve any issue.  in April 2002, the Dr told me there was nothing more that could be done and I needed a complete hysterectomy.  Along with the endometriosis, I also had PCOS and Fibroids on my Uterine Lining.  So, as we celebrated our 1st year of marriage, our hopes of having children were over.

These were tough days for me.  I dealt with a variety of emotions.  I felt like I had just failed my husband.  I was no longer complete and I just thought for sure he should move on to a "whole" woman.  I was 27 years old and having a complete hysterectomy.  While on some sides it was great (because I had been living every day life in pain), on other sides I just felt like a failure.  I also dealt with a spiritual side to this.  You see, we trusted God.  We had been prayed for & just knew that we would get pregnant.  So, when I scheduled surgery, I was confronted with some great men and women of God who asked me why I wasn't trusting God.  Why I had lost faith. was tough.  But, we knew, for my health, this was the best path and so, adoption then became our only option of becoming parents.

Now, remember this, God had been preparing me for adoption for a LONG time, but I didn't see it that way.  In fact, over the course of the next several years, we didn't speak of it.  Dan was ready to adopt.  He knew it was his heart, but every time we would get papers to fill out, I would start working on it & the first set of questions asked my weight.  Well, as you know, I have always been overweight.  I didn't know why in the world anyone needed to know that.  Would they not allow me to be a mom because I was fat?  Really?  I had an attitude about it really.  Here is where God got me.  I kept asking why me God.  I would never really get an answer.  But, then one day, I knew.  Why me God?  Why NOT YOU BETH?!  WOW!  God gave me an amazing family who would accept any child, no matter if that child did or didn't look like me.  God gave me an amazing husband who knew that my health was more important than having a "biological" child.  God gave me an amazing support system who would be there for me any time I needed them.  WHY NOT YOU BETH?!  That weekend Dan & I bought a baby boy outfit at K-Mart, prayed over it & put it in a closet trusting that God will fill that baby boy outfit.

2 years later....He did just that.

---to be continued

***DISCLAIMER*** I am in NO WAY an adoption expert, nor do I have all or any answers in regards to adoption.  I am simply sharing OUR journeys and experiences.  I am sharing from my heart.  I will share some other information I find & I will share where the information was gathered.  Thank you for joining me this month!

No comments:

Post a Comment